Only say the word and I shall be healed...........

Welcome back to the Roman soldier who can't make up his mind.  First he is worthy of Jesus' attention, then he balks at Jesus even entering his house to do the very thing he wanted at the beginning of the story. (Luke 7)

Luke's version of the Roman centurion seeking a healing for a 'valuable slave' has embedded meaning that differs from Matthew's version of the same story.  It begins with a 'valuable slave' whom the Roman wishes healed.  Then moves to the Jewish leaders trying to persuade Jesus to fulfill the Roman's request because the Roman is worthy of Jesus' attention.  When Jesus moves to enter the soldier's house, suddenly he cries out  "I am not worthy for you to come under my roof....only speak the word and my servant will be healed."  Worthy...unworthy....make up your mind!

I wonder what happened that the soldier suddenly doesn't want Jesus in the house.  I doubt that it had anything to do with his housekeeping skills.  Further, if he had the chutzpah to ask Jesus for a healing.....for a slave.....I doubt that he suddenly lost his nerve.  Roman soldiers were hard and showed great courage in battle.  So, why the sudden "I am not worthy...?"

Could it be that this soldier began to realize that anyone who could accomplish the kind of healing that rumor had it Jesus could was to be respected?  Could it be that by agreeing to come (in response to the soldier's request) that Jesus called his bluff - confident that he could, in fact, heal the slave and so perhaps he was more powerful than a lot of people gave him credit? Could it be that the Roman soldier suddenly realized that he would be face to face with a powerful member of a race he ruled over, and not ever kindly?  Could he be ashamed of his own life story?

Could it be that the closer Jesus came to him, the greater he became aware of the presence of God in this itinerant preacher?  Was it possible that what was originally a wild request of uncertain results had morphed into a moment of divine intervention in his world?

Because, if that is what was going on in the soldier's head, no wonder he cried out, "I am not worthy..." for none of us is worthy.  The chasm between the God who creates and the ones who are created is beyond us.  The chasm between what we ought to do and what we actually do is bottomless.  The chasm between God's great desire for all creation and the mess we live in and help sustain daily is embarrassing. We are not worthy for Jesus to enter our house.  Worthy/ not worthy: this Jesus breaks down all that we think we know and understand.

The Roman Catholic liturgy of the mass, in its older version, included the believers' response to the lifting up of the Eucharist.  "I am not worthy to receive you, only say the word and I shall be healed." a paraphrase of this very story from Luke.  It captures this moment of  realization that the Divine One, the source of life and life again, is about to enter into our space and make contact with us, and unworthy is the least of our responses to that possibility.

For we are not worthy, but then it has never been about worth.
It has always been about love.

 It is love that can heal us for eternity, the love that has already stepped into our space in this creation and now lifts us up to healing in the Divine Wholeness of God.  It was about this divine love now made human flesh and dwelling among us....to heal us; to make us whole.

About to receive the body and blood of our Lord Jesus poured out for each of us, we cry out "I am not worthy to receive......"  and we give thanks that God came to us and loved us anyhow.