Of course, this is a question that is only seriously asked by people of faith - most faiths I would presume - because our relationship with the one we call God is important to us. Our understanding about God and God's desires for me and all of creation imparts meaning to our living. We choose to do this because it aligns with God's plans; we choose not to do that because it thwarts God's plans.
One of the goals of spiritual disciplines like prayer, fasting, giving charity, studying the scripture, serving the other is to continually shape and transform us, syncing us with God's plan for all of creation. We take on God's way of being in the world as our way of being in the world. When all is tallied, we want to be on the right side of equation, having aided and expanded God's work in this world.
Which, I think, naturally leads to the question, "Am I worthy to stand before God?"
Of course we rarely use that exact language. Rather, the person who is on the edge of dying will ask, "Do you think I will go to heaven?" or "Have I done enough? Am I OK?" What the apostle Paul would call the Old Adam rears up and makes us wonder if we have worked hard enough, run fast enough, loved rightly and whether our balance sheet of sin v. good works shows a positive balance. "Am I worthy to stand before God?"
Truthfully, I don't blame folks for their uncertainty because the world in which we live spends a great deal of time telling us that we are not worthy. We simply don't measure up. We are not smart, rich, skinny, successful, famous enough. We are not kind, giving, informed, fashionable enough. We are simply not enough no matter how hard we try because the finish line is constantly moving down the road and we will never catch up.
We are bombarded with these messages thousands of times a day, and we buy into it hook, line and sinker. Grandmothers brag how exceptionally bright their 3 year old grandchildren are; parents rave about how good a dancer their 9 year old is or what great skills their 11 year old baseball player has. High school students, having survived the gauntlet of middle school, assiduously gather a resume of grades, jobs, honors, service projects, and if they can manage it, some extraordinary, never before heard of accomplishment so they might be considered 'worthy' to pay thousands of dollars to attend their college of choice.
God's message that we are loved simply because we are has little chance of gaining ground against the Mad Men of advertising. God's message that we are more together than we can ever be individually is nonsensical. Jesus' example of living a life that constantly involves inviting the outcast and giving to those who simply ask and walking an extra mile for the sake of someone we don't even know.....is beyond comprehension. Each time we almost believe it......social media points out yet another new trend that is leaving us behind. So we compare honors and bank accounts and well anything that will make us feel OK even if only for a moment.
It is no wonder that as we are about to breathe our last breath we ask, "Am I worthy to stand before God?" No matter how much we have done to spiff up our image, we know in our hearts that we always could have done more.....whether we fall into the category of 'we tried our best' or the category of 'it was foolishness from the very beginning.'
So begins the story of the Roman centurion who wishes to have his valuable slave healed by Jesus. Is this Roman worthy of Jesus' attention? How much does a slave have to be valued in order to qualify for Jesus' special healing? What will it take, Jesus, for you to consider me worthy to receive your healing touch?
We've all asked the question one way or another. What was God's answer?
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