Only say the word and I shall be healed...........

Welcome back to the Roman soldier who can't make up his mind.  First he is worthy of Jesus' attention, then he balks at Jesus even entering his house to do the very thing he wanted at the beginning of the story. (Luke 7)

Luke's version of the Roman centurion seeking a healing for a 'valuable slave' has embedded meaning that differs from Matthew's version of the same story.  It begins with a 'valuable slave' whom the Roman wishes healed.  Then moves to the Jewish leaders trying to persuade Jesus to fulfill the Roman's request because the Roman is worthy of Jesus' attention.  When Jesus moves to enter the soldier's house, suddenly he cries out  "I am not worthy for you to come under my roof....only speak the word and my servant will be healed."  Worthy...unworthy....make up your mind!

I wonder what happened that the soldier suddenly doesn't want Jesus in the house.  I doubt that it had anything to do with his housekeeping skills.  Further, if he had the chutzpah to ask Jesus for a healing.....for a slave.....I doubt that he suddenly lost his nerve.  Roman soldiers were hard and showed great courage in battle.  So, why the sudden "I am not worthy...?"

Could it be that this soldier began to realize that anyone who could accomplish the kind of healing that rumor had it Jesus could was to be respected?  Could it be that by agreeing to come (in response to the soldier's request) that Jesus called his bluff - confident that he could, in fact, heal the slave and so perhaps he was more powerful than a lot of people gave him credit? Could it be that the Roman soldier suddenly realized that he would be face to face with a powerful member of a race he ruled over, and not ever kindly?  Could he be ashamed of his own life story?

Could it be that the closer Jesus came to him, the greater he became aware of the presence of God in this itinerant preacher?  Was it possible that what was originally a wild request of uncertain results had morphed into a moment of divine intervention in his world?

Because, if that is what was going on in the soldier's head, no wonder he cried out, "I am not worthy..." for none of us is worthy.  The chasm between the God who creates and the ones who are created is beyond us.  The chasm between what we ought to do and what we actually do is bottomless.  The chasm between God's great desire for all creation and the mess we live in and help sustain daily is embarrassing. We are not worthy for Jesus to enter our house.  Worthy/ not worthy: this Jesus breaks down all that we think we know and understand.

The Roman Catholic liturgy of the mass, in its older version, included the believers' response to the lifting up of the Eucharist.  "I am not worthy to receive you, only say the word and I shall be healed." a paraphrase of this very story from Luke.  It captures this moment of  realization that the Divine One, the source of life and life again, is about to enter into our space and make contact with us, and unworthy is the least of our responses to that possibility.

For we are not worthy, but then it has never been about worth.
It has always been about love.

 It is love that can heal us for eternity, the love that has already stepped into our space in this creation and now lifts us up to healing in the Divine Wholeness of God.  It was about this divine love now made human flesh and dwelling among us....to heal us; to make us whole.

About to receive the body and blood of our Lord Jesus poured out for each of us, we cry out "I am not worthy to receive......"  and we give thanks that God came to us and loved us anyhow.

Friends in high places

This man didn't get to be a centurion in the Roman army by being dumb.  He wants a healing for someone who is important to him and so he uses the tried and true method of making use of his friends in high places.  I won't disparage his intentions; I won't suggest that he made friends with the local Jewish leaders in order to have this ace in his pocket when he needed it.  This isn't an episode of House of Cards.  None the less, this centurion doesn't hesitate to make use of the friends he has cultivated in those high places...or at least the friends he suspects will have influence over a Jewish rabbi with an extraordinary reputation.

These Jewish leaders want Jesus to understand just how worthy this Roman soldier - the enemy of the Jewish people, the occupiers of promised Jewish land, the oppressors of the Jewish race - is to receive whatever healing Jesus might be able to bring.  They list his gifts, his friendship, his generosity to their people.  He is worthy of your attention.

Furthermore, notice that the soldier asks nothing for himself.  He asks for a slave.  I will not call into question the Roman's intentions here either, even knowing that young male slaves were not acquired to wash dishes way too often in Roman society.  If this point is of no importance to Jesus, it will be of no importance to me. Just as Jesus is not distracted by this possibility, neither will I be.

But knowing what we do about Jesus' message to the people of Israel, to the people of Rome, to the whole of creation; knowing what we do about Jesus' ability to forgive even the ones who executed him; knowing what we do about Jesus' command to love..........well, I have to wonder what Jesus was thinking about this claim that the soldier was 'worthy.'

Of course he was worthy.  He was a child of God, created by the Divine Creator out of love and now called into a new and authentic life by the Son of Love named Jesus.  Of course he was worthy, but not because of what he had done........for better or worse......but because God made him and therefore Jesus loved him.  I wonder if Jesus was chuckling inside as he began the journey to the soldier's house.

Even more, I wonder if Jesus can still chuckle at our insistence on making ourselves worthy: running around, doing good deeds, correcting the behavior of others and working, working, working at keeping the rules.  Or, has Jesus' love gained a tinge of frustration at our dense, recalcitrant need to do the work that we are incapable of doing and which is not necessary from the very beginning.

When Jesus says we are loved, we are loved.  End of story.  When we live as if we truly believe, trust and desire that love, our lives are transformed.  That is the story that Jesus is telling regardless of what story we manage to hear.

It is so difficult to leave behind all that we have been taught at the knee of wisdom in this competitive, death dealing world.  It is difficult to trust that this Jesus can, does, will, and will always love us.  Daily we need to return to that passage from John, 'for God so loved the world that God sent Jesus..not to condemn the world but so that the world might be saved through him' (John 3.16-17 paraphrase).

He had always had friends in high places - very high places.

It has never been about being worthy.

It has always been about being loved.

Amen.  Thank you Lord Jesus.

Am I worthy?

"Am I worthy to stand before God?"

Of course, this is a question that is only seriously asked by people of faith - most faiths I would presume - because our relationship with the one we call God is important to us.  Our understanding about God and God's desires for me and all of creation imparts meaning to our living.  We choose to do this because it aligns with God's plans; we choose not to do that because it thwarts God's plans.

One of the goals of spiritual disciplines like prayer, fasting, giving charity, studying the scripture, serving the other is to continually shape and transform us, syncing us with God's plan for all of creation.  We take on God's way of being in the world as our way of being in the world.  When all is tallied, we want to be on the right side of equation, having aided and expanded God's work in this world.

Which, I think, naturally leads to the question, "Am I worthy to stand before God?"

Of course we rarely use that exact language.  Rather, the person who is on the edge of dying will ask, "Do you think I will go to heaven?"  or "Have I done enough?  Am I OK?"  What the apostle Paul would call the Old Adam rears up and makes us wonder if we have worked hard enough, run fast enough, loved rightly and whether our balance sheet of sin v. good works shows a positive balance.  "Am I worthy to stand before God?"

Truthfully, I don't blame folks for their uncertainty because the world in which we live spends a great deal of time telling us that we are not worthy.  We simply don't measure up.  We are not smart, rich, skinny, successful, famous enough.  We are not kind, giving, informed, fashionable enough.  We are simply not enough no matter how hard we try because the finish line is constantly moving down the road and we will never catch up.

We are bombarded with these messages thousands of times a day, and we buy into it hook, line and sinker.  Grandmothers brag how exceptionally bright their 3 year old grandchildren are; parents rave about how good a dancer their 9 year old is or what great skills their 11 year old baseball player has.  High school students, having survived the gauntlet of middle school, assiduously gather a resume of grades, jobs, honors, service projects, and if they can manage it, some extraordinary, never before heard of accomplishment so they might be considered 'worthy' to pay thousands of dollars to attend their college of choice.

God's message that we are loved simply because we are has little chance of gaining ground against the Mad Men of advertising.  God's message that we are more together than we can ever be individually is nonsensical.  Jesus' example of living a life that constantly involves inviting the outcast and giving to those who simply ask and walking an extra mile for the sake of someone we don't even know.....is beyond comprehension.  Each time we almost believe it......social media points out yet another new trend that is leaving us behind.  So we compare honors and bank accounts and well anything that will make us feel OK even if only for a moment.

It is no wonder that as we are about to breathe our last breath we ask, "Am I worthy to stand before God?"  No matter how much we have done to spiff up our image, we know in our hearts that we always could have done more.....whether we fall into the category of 'we tried our best' or the category of 'it was foolishness from the very beginning.'

So begins the story of the Roman centurion who wishes to have his valuable slave healed by Jesus.  Is this Roman worthy of Jesus' attention?  How much does a slave have to be valued in order to qualify for Jesus' special healing?  What will it take, Jesus, for you to consider me worthy to receive your healing touch?

We've all asked the question one way or another.   What was God's answer?

How much do you believe it?

#feelthewind

They are called hashtags.  We oldsters called them pound signs, but there is no difference beyond a couple decades of technology.

In any event, they are used to establish the topic for a Twitter conversation that is open to anyone who wants to jump in.  A hashtag is both commentary and summary.  The same event might carry several hashtags depending on the variety of views out there in the social media world.

So......here's ours for Pentecost.  #feelthewind.  If you are inexperienced at these, you need to separate the words into  feel. the. wind.  It's a great hashtag for Pentecost, the day of rushing wind, tongues of fire, and accusations of excessive drinking at 9 am.

#feelthewind sets the tone.  What is our message?  What do we want to say to the world about that great rushing wind and the incredible Holy Spirit?  Twitter restricts comments to 140 characters so we would have to be brief, but this provides us with the great opportunity to hone our message about God's appearance as Spirit among us, moving us forward, granting us words to speak, setting us on fire.

According to the gospel of John the Holy Spirit comes as comforter, encourager, strength in faith, fearlessness in telling the story.  The Spirit is our advocate and our teacher; it is the teller of truth.  It is the power of the Holy Spirit which raised Jesus out of the tomb into new life.  Just saying: we're not dealing with some draft from a faulty window.

We are talking about the power of new life moving across the void of darkness and bringing life into being.....and it is happening today all around us.  With a little practice will we recognize the movement of the Spirit wherever there is healing, forgiveness, compassion, truth telling, and strength of faith.

What would you say in your tweet about Pentecost?  Let's try a few
    Could that woman giving lunch to that guy on the corner be the Holy Spirit at work?  #feelthewind

    Saw a child and dog playing and running and laughing.  Holy Spirit at work  #feelthewind

   Elderly mother and adult child holding one another's hands in silence at hospital.  Holy Spirit bring comfort  #feelthewind

Notice how our tweets sound suspiciously like prayers of awe and praise and intercession?  Just by tuning into God moving and working among us, our prayer life (which IS our relationship with God) grows and grows.

The Holy Spirit is on the loose, moving and shaping the world; it comes as both wind and fire.  Where have you felt the wind lately?

#holyspiritatwork
 

What was the point of all those fireworks?

I think it is a legitimate question and goes to the heart of the raison d'etre of the Christian Church.  Why were we blessed with such an amazing display of fire and rushing wind?  What was God trying to accomplish with this first Pentecost?

Of course the Church has developed answers to this question throughout its 2000+ year history.  Martin Luther in his Small Catechism says that the work of the Spirit is to call us into faith and then form us as the Church

'I believe that I cannot by my own strength or understanding come to faith but the Holy Spirit calls me through the gospel.....just as it calls, gathers, enlightens and sanctifies the whole Christian Church.'  [a paraphrase of the explanation to the 3rd article of the Creed.]

But that begs the question of why the Church in the first place.  The Greek word for 'church' is ekklesia or 'the called out ones'.  So those who are gathered to be church are called out for some purpose......and it apparently took some wind and fire to get us moving.

Because it appears that it is about us moving, not staying.  It is about us talking with one another, and with every other Tom, Dick and Harry we meet about what we have seen and heard.  It is about what we are to do next and it has to do with other people, not ourselves.

This dynamic movement of Spirit and Church has gotten a bit lost in our last century as we foolishly believed that everyone already knew about the person, presence and power of God.   Too many believers began to believe that just believing (and there have been some very low standards around what 'believing' means) was the goal of the church.  Somehow we lost sight that the believing was intended to be the first step of telling someone else the story.  

Frankly, if you had been there and felt that wind, and saw those tongues of fire, and heard all those people talking........well, you would just have had to tell someone else about it all....right?

So, perhaps the fireworks were just for that purpose......to get us up off our ......couches/pews......and get the word out.  THIS is our God and THIS is how powerful that God is and THIS is the Jesus who showed us what it all looked like and THIS is the Spirit that is always moving among us to bring out new life.

So what is the story that God has given to you to share with the world?  Where have you felt the rushing of the Spirit?  Where has the fire of God's passionate love shown up in your life lately?  That's your story.  That's your fire and wind.  That's your call to tell the story.  Your story.  God's story.  The story of salvation for the world.

A divine plan in 3 acts

Frankly, it just came to me in the middle preaching about this world changing rush of wind and fire we know in the Christian church as Pentecost.  All of a sudden I could see the flow from the beginning to the reality of today.

It began in the beginning. God in Spirit hovered in the darkness and called out "Let there be light."  A word spoken into the void birthed .... a new start?  a new expression of 'life'?  a new manifestation of God's divine being?  the shift from an attitude of love to the concrete creation of creation?

That is where it all began for us. Sometimes we got the God connection with a little bit of help from the stories passed down through generations:  stories about Abraham and the promise of land, and Moses and the rescue from slavery, and the actual land flowing with milk and honey, and King David who pulled it all together for about 70 years.

But the earth was it's own place of Babel, with folks arguing about which god truly gave life and what that god demanded and how wrong everyone else was.  It wasn't a pretty time, but we would have recognized it because we experience it daily on the news.

So began act 2 of God's unfolding plan:  pulling himself apart from the otherness of God, Jesus took on human flesh.  So we could see.  So we could hear.  So we could experience the depth and breadth and power of God's love for all humans and all of creation.  It looks like feeding hungry people; it looks like clothing the naked; it looks like eating with foreigners.  It looks like forgiveness, even when it means forgiving your enemies.  It looks like the cross.

20th century theologian Karl Barth pointed out, 'if God didn't want us to know that God was God, we wouldn't.'  Jesus was a gift; a concrete example for we concrete learners; an example of how we can do it, even if imperfectly.......and God's love covers all the imperfect places.

But taking on human flesh meant taking on human death as well, and so we, those who look to Jesus  to know God, stand here alone........or do we?  Enter act 3 and the Holy Spirit.

Jesus told us the Spirit was coming:  an advocate, an encourager, a strengthener, a teller of truth.  The Spirit is the power of God moving among us......as it has from the beginning when that power moved across the void and called into being life as we know it.  Now we know that the very Spirit which raised Jesus from the dead is moving among us..........granted it took a rush of a mighty wind and the improbable tongues of fire to get our attention, but it worked!

The world has turned yet again.  Now the Spirit calls us into the great drama of God's creation.  Now the Spirit calls us to point the way:  see?  there is God at work!  See over there where college students are donating their stuff to give it to others who need stuff?  God is at work.  God is at work in the students and in those who step up to make it happen and in the relationships forged between all the workers and in the new life now made possible.  There!  It's is God at work.

Those folks in that room were blown out of their seats by the wind and fired up by that holy fire.  They began babbling in any and all languages so that no one would be left out.  They had a story to tell and everyone was going to get a chance to hear it.  Jesus - who is God: love and grace and forgiveness and hope - is the path of life because that path is wholly in tune with the God of all Creation.

A drama for all the ages.

Civil discourse in a angry political atmosphere

Love your neighbor Bishop Elizabeth Eaton "Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?" He said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets"(Matthew 22:36-40).

Bishop Elizabeth Eaton recently attended a gathering of all the clergy of the Montana Synod.  This particular gathering was also attended by their Episcopal colleagues and the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church - USA Bishop Michael Curry.  The discussion among those gathered was about civil discourse in the political world.  This was not about endorsing either specific positions or specific candidates but having conversation as believers in the political arena.  Here are some of Bishop Eaton's comments from that gathering as published on the www.elca.org website.

"Lutherans don't withdraw from the world. Martin Luther believed that people of faith have a duty to participate in the political sphere and, when necessary, to call civil authorities to account. He also offered this helpful explanation of the Eighth Commandment: "We are to fear and love God, so that we do not tell lies about our neighbors, betray or slander them, or destroy their reputations. Instead we are to come to their defense, speak well of them, and interpret everything they do in the best possible light" (Small Catechism).

Now to the issue of civil discourse during this political season. I understand that the world is a dangerous place; I understand that many in our country feel left behind and left out. There are legitimate security, foreign policy and domestic policy concerns. Candidates and political parties have the duty to speak to these concerns and make the case for their platform.

During the theological gathering, Bishop Curry held up Jesus' answer to the lawyer that love of God and love of neighbor, and the standard by which we treat others, should be the way we engage society. Political speech that doesn't ensure that the "other" is treated with the same respect and care that we would wish for our own brother or sister or father or mother is not what God intends for God's beloved community.

We are Easter people. We have been redeemed by the indescribably beautiful act of love on the cross. I ask that we, and those seeking office, would remember that we are entrusted with a redeemed world, and we must always remember that those who disagree with us are also those for whom Christ died."

Resurrection, baptism and Monday morning

Monday morning.  Most maligned hours of the week.  Shut off the alarm, jump in the shower, grab some breakfast....begin the familiar routine of yet another work week, another foray into the world filled with challenges, disappointments, responsibilities and not as much peace as we would like.

After the different rhythms of even a busy weekend, Monday morning demands our attention, so it is not surprising that resurrection and baptism are not the most present things on our minds.  Resurrection and baptism are things that were checked off our To Do list long ago.  Right now we need peanut butter and jelly and gas for the car.

If I weren't writing this right at this moment I would be right behind you in line for use of the bathroom.  This world demands our attention and we pay a huge price if we lose focus and get caught day dreaming.  Living out our day as a baptized child of God feels like one more responsibility, not the great adventure that God intends for us.

It seems that life has managed to get more and more complex and the pressure to keep up or wash out just grows daily.  Any request to take on one more thing is considered suspiciously because at some point all our plates will stop spinning and china will crash to the floor.  We are perilously close to our limit - that place where our worth and ability run out and we are empty and useless. So baptismal covenants and resurrection life have found their place at the back of the closet; two more things that I don't have to think about right now.

Let's drag that baptismal water and empty tomb out from storage and re-consider.  Let's consider the power of the Holy Spirit - the spirit that raised Jesus from the dead into new and eternal life - the Spirit that anointed you in your baptism - the Spirit that works through you in this world to bring people and situations out of death and into new life.....THAT spirit.  Could you use a little of that today?

Let's consider that good news that you are beloved.  Today.  Right now...even though the laundry didn't get done this weekend and the dog is throwing up on the rug.  You are God's beloved and anything that might keep you separated from this God is off the table: forgiven and forgotten.  Even in the midst of one of your worst tantrums, when you are egregiously wrong, you are loved and Jesus walks beside you like your friend from elementary school.  Could you face a time today when that memory will hold you together and give you a glimpse of the holy?

Let's consider that God knows your name.  Sure, on the bus you are one face among 60 others; people you don't know.  Sure, HR knows you when they locate your file but even that won't matter if they need to lay off 15 people.  Sure, the soccer coach only knows you as that mother who runs in late and keeps murmuring about Sunday practices.  We are one of the great crowd of anonymous people to everyone out there but God.  God never forgets and is always available for a chat, a confession, a cry of fatigue.  Is it possible that today you will need to know that you are known by God?

The water of baptism is the beginning of resurrection life for us - real life, authentic life, life that gives life rather than continually subtracting it into nothingness.  The water of baptism calls us into a relationship that can mold and nurture us every moment of every day.  It is a new pair of glasses with which to see the world.  It is a new medicine that regulates our heart.  It is a pair of Italian leather loafers which cushion our walk through this lifetime.

So when you stand in the shower tomorrow morning, think baptism.  Your day will be changed because your life has been changed.  T
he baptismal waters are meant to disturb your life, your day, your dreams, your actions, your hopes, your plans. You go out into this world as a baptized child of God to live the life of resurrection and spread it around willy-nilly to absolutely everyone.

Here's a prayer to start your day:  Lord, disturb me this day.

I won't answer for you, but as for me, my day could use a little more disturbance by this God who loves me so dearly.

Disturbed by baptism

It is a courageous thing we do, baptizing our children.  Certainly all the drama is given over to the big wedding plans or possibly the selection of a college or maybe even that final act of our funeral, but none of these is quite as courageous as splashing water over the head of a powerless infant.

This is why.  Citizenship in this world is relinquished.  Even though that infant cannot take a step on their own in this world, the newly baptized steps into another realm.  With all the responsibilities that weigh heavy on parents' shoulders, they willingly take on yet another when they bring their infants to the font.  They make promises.  They are challenged to renew and refresh the promises of their own baptism.  They become this child's guide to Jesus, and life in the kingdom of God. They have set their child's feet upon the Jesus path; every day of this child's life will be a challenge to hold fast to the God who holds fast to them.

Too dramatic for you?  Or have we who watch and smile and congratulate the family simply gotten comfortable with this radical splashing of water?  Have we become deaf to the call of the Spirit?  Have we immunized ourselves against the realities of living out lives as baptized people of God?

Have we convinced ourselves that the water of baptism is our insurance for another time and not the starting point of living in this time and this place?  Have we turned baptism into another Hallmark moment and stripped it of its most powerful reality......that we are now joined to the death and resurrection of Jesus.....and that is never 'business as usual.'

Once upon a time a faithful servant of God poured water over your head in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and in disturbing the water simultaneously disturbed your life.  The very word life has shifted in meaning: it no longer means 'whatever you can eke out for yourself each day' but now means a connection with the Divine Creator, a shift from 'me' to 'we' and the ever present possibility of life being formed in the midst of death.  Our vision shifts from an image in our mirror to encompass the whole of humanity and parts of the world we will never glimpse with our own eyes.  Our theme song shifts from "I did it my way" to "I love to tell the story".

The water of baptism becomes our hearing aid, enabling us to hear the cries of the stranger caught in the grips of this world's forces, crushed by the weight of an
other's oppression.  The water of baptism is our physical therapy, keeping our joints well oiled as we step out into this world to bring light into dark corners and disturb evil in its work.

The water of baptism leads to a disturbed life:  now that we have tasted the wholeness of life that comes to us through and in Jesus, we are disturbed when life is diminished, locked up or out, refused or denied.  Then we are called to step into those places and disturb evil at its work.  We are baptizing warriors: warriors of life and not death, warriors who serve others rather than be served themselves.

Jesus asked the man by the pool of Bethsaida, "Do you want to be made well?" and just possibly he hesitated to answer because he wondered if he was ready .....ready to be a warrior for life and a bringer of light.

Are you ready?  As we open our eyes with each morning's light, let's allow this question to shape our day "Do you want to be made well?"  Jesus is ready .....are you?

Do you want to be made well?

It seems a straightforward enough question:  "Do you want to be made well?"

This anonymous man had been waiting by that pool at Bethsaida for 38 years, waiting for a healing.  The rumor around the pool was this:  every so often an angel stirred up the water of the usually quiet pool, and the first person into the water received healing.  Unfortunately, this man had no one to help him into the pool and, well, someone always got there ahead of him.  So, 38 years later, he was still waiting.

.....which would, to me, make his answer to Jesus' question all the more obvious.  "Do you want to be made well?"  Of course!  Finally!  Thank God!  Yes, please!  Any of these would do.

Yet that's not what we get.  All of this set me to wondering why he would hesitate to embrace the opportunity, even if it turned out to prove false.  Why wouldn't he want to be healed?

First, he would have to go home.  The pool was a place for healing, not hanging out with some friends.  His place there would disappear.  In fact, the only place that had been home for him for 38 years would no longer be his.  That might cause a person to pause.

Second, we have no idea if he had a home to return to.  If he had truly had no one to help him into the water for 38 years, perhaps he had no family at all waiting for his return.  Perhaps they had forgotten him long ago, wrote him off as a burden.

Furthermore, would they even recognize him?  Up until this moment his identity was as the paralyzed man who lived next to the pool at Bethsaida.  If he picks up his mat and goes home, well, he could easily just blend into the crowd, no one special, identity gone.  And now that begging would no longer be an option for him, he would have to get a job.  Like being a farm hand.  Labor.  Hard labor.  After 38 years of nothing.

Perhaps it isn't so difficult to imagine his hesitancy.

Our Maundy Thursday confession includes this same idea when we say  "I ask for healing, Lord, but in the end, I prefer my sin to your healing."  Or, to state it another way, 'rather the often uncomfortable life I have to the unknown comforts of a new and unfamiliar life.'...like the life we are called in to in baptism, where the water is disturbed by the Holy Spirit, wholeness is ours as a gift from God, and our lives are forever disturbed.

Healing would disturb this man's life.  All the years he waited and watched for the water of the pool to be disturbed so he could chase after healing. Now that healing was simply offered to  him perhaps he had time to consider how much it would disturb his life.

I wonder if we are stuck in an old, paralyzed life, afraid to truly grab hold of a life of wholeness offered by God in Jesus.