Secret heart: true wisdom

"teach me wisdom in my secret heart"

Now we get to the hard stuff.  No, it's not broken and unrealized dreams or the fear of dying that qualify as the hard stuff.  It's the sins.

You might not use that word 'sin.'  So call it whatever you want; it doesn't matter.  I am talking about those things which we have done - really and truly - we could give it a date and a time - have done.  Those things we want no one to know about.

They are at home in the back corner of our heart, mixed with broken dreams and big time fears.  They are stored there for our review in the wee hours of the morning when sleep eludes us.  We hide them away because we don't want anyone to know that 'we are that kind of person who does that kind of thing.

If we give these sins names, if we speak them out loud, we acknowledge their truth.  We acknowledge our truth and the illusion that 'at our core we are good people' is forever gone.

Within the Lutheran tradition, personal confession which takes place face to face with a pastor is an infrequent practice.  Yet confession offers a rare opportunity to dredge those sins from the back of our heart and speak the truth about them.  Until the truth is spoken, there will be no resolution.

Confession is a gift that is too rarely opened.  When I speak truth to my confessor, when I lay my sin right out there in the middle of the table. I am about to experience a new beginning.  Exposed to the light, this truth has ramifications.  I can no longer claim that I am not the kind of person who.....   I can no longer claim that I would never.....  Because I am, and I did and now someone else and I both know the truth.

There it lies, this sin of mine. You can see the risk of this as well as I.  What if the one I have brought this to is repulsed?  What if there is no word of grace to be said?  What if?

But if you watch closely, you will see my confessor taking his hand filled with grace and covering over the sin which lies between us.  Forgiveness covers the truth, and takes all the power out of it. This forgiveness sets me free.  My sin will always be my sin, but it will now have no power over me.   No longer do I have to watch my back, worried that someone will discover my truth.  I can breathe.  I can forgive others.  I can clean out that corner of my secret heart and get about God's work.

God has known all along and has desired to set me free. "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."  God has known and God loves us still.

"teach me wisdom in my secret heart"

Perhaps the time has come for you to pull all that stuff out from your secret heart and lay it to rest in Christ. There is no better time than this week we call holy.