Am I worthy?

It is the question that nags at the deepest corner of our heart "Am I worthy?"  It is rare that you will catch an American phrasing it quite that way (it goes against our cultural grain) but when you approach someone certain that they will turn away from you, that is what you are thinking: Am I worthy?  To get an autograph?  To be chosen for the team?  To be asked to the prom?  To get the promotion?

When Jesus begins healing folks in the 8th chapter of Matthew, he encounters three people who, for one reason or another, are not considered worthy.  They are outsiders: a leper who is a Son of Abraham, a centurion soldier, and Peter's mother-in-law, in bed with a fever.  The leper has been set outside his own community because of his disease.  He is an outcast among outcasts.  The centurion is a Roman, a soldier in an occupying force, and he wants healing for a sick servant!  Then there's Peter's mother-in-law (notice we never learn her name) who was born on the wrong side of the gender divide.  These three have been found 'unworthy' by their own communities for one reason or another.

They came to Jesus because there was no where else to go.  Lepers were rarely healed; I expect the centurion would have been loathe to ask favor from a Jewish rabbi.  Every Jewish woman had heard the prayer uttered by the men, "Thank you God that I was not born a woman" (this is, in fact, an actual Jewish prayer).

It is not hard to hear these folks saying to themselves, "I am not worthy"  In fact, the centurion utters these words aloud, "I am not worthy for you to enter my house, only say the word and [the servant] shall be healed."  These are the folks that Jesus heals.  These are the ones Jesus finds worthy.

The leper, who has been separated from his family and community, can now show himself to the priest - see?  I am healed.  I am OK.  Now, I can be included once again.

The centurion has nothing to lose, it would seem.  He is asking for a servant to be healed, but I would have to imagine that this is a beloved individual for him to do this kind of leg work, humbling himself before Jesus, to receive a healing.  There may be more reasons than first imagined for him to demur from Jesus entering his house to heal the servant, but none the less, Jesus heals from a far.  Clearly this Jesus has power over powers rather than just power over people (like an officer commanding other soldiers).

Then of course there is Peter's mother-in law.  It may have been a nothing fever, and she is healed only to set up and serve the men lunch, but on this day the rabbi Jesus made her whole again.

Am I worthy?  This question echoes in the depths of our souls, for in some way, each of us is an outsider.  But not to Jesus......to Jesus we are beloved children in need of new healing.  That is the definition of grace.......and Jesus pours it out on each of us.