please take away the pain

As Brené Brown puts it in her video "Jesus Wept"

“I went to church thinking it would be like an epidural, that it would take the pain away . . . But church isn’t like an epidural; it’s like a midwife . . . I thought faith would say, ‘I’ll take away the pain and discomfort, but what it ended up saying was, ‘I’ll sit with you in it.’ ”*

Everyone has suffering in their life.  If you haven't by now, just wait because someone you love will die, someone you know will be caught by a deadly disease, someone you know will have their job disappear or their marriage dissolve.  To be human is to suffer because our bodies are time stamped and our psyches are fragile and our will power is often used to consolidate our advantages rather than choose for the greater good.

So I believe that the question of higher powers and divine intent and human culpability and just plain luck are always lurking on the corners of our attention.  Is someone to blame?  Could it have been avoided?  Could someone have stopped it?  We relentlessly ask the question, "Why?" which will often turn us to the question of "Who?"  For people of faith, the answer is God (whom we call by different names).

In the 11th chapter of the gospel of John, a friend of Jesus' named Lazarus dies.  He was 'sick unto death' and Jesus tarried a bit too long on the road and in the end, Lazarus was dead.  Wrapped in a shroud dead.  Four days dead.  Dead.

And his sisters, also good friends of Jesus, each in turn cried out, "Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died."  It is the cry of the recently bereaved.  Then Jesus asks to be taken to the cave like tomb where Lazarus had been laid to rest.

And at the tomb he wept.  He wept even though he had known Lazarus was already dead.  He wept knowing that he would call Lazarus back into life in just a few moments.  He wept knowing that the Divine Father offered Lazarus a place at an eternal table that exceeded all expectations.   Even though he knew the end of the story, he wept. He wept because he loved and he could not ignore the pain that surrounded him.

There are many powerful stories told in the scriptures, and they speak to me at different times in my life.  But for me, there is no more stark image of incarnation than Jesus standing before a tomb that he would soon empty, weeping.  From this I know that Jesus weeps with me, and my friends whose lovely daughter took away her own life, and the anonymous mothers whose children were caught in a war zone, and the myriad of others who this day will confront a tomb and weep.

It is the sound of love.  God for us in Jesus.  Us for our beloved.  It is the sound of all humanity.

*“Brene Brown: Jesus Wept,” video, 6:00, The Work of the People, www.theworkofthepeople.com/jesus-wept (accessed 13 October 2014). as quoted in Evans, Rachel Held. Searching for Sunday (p. 209). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Let's talk about story.....#3

It starts with a teenager who appears to be giving his time and attention only to his i-phone while the family gathers for holiday activities.  It ends with a video he's made of all the family working and playing together - his rendition of a video diary.  It is touching, really.  It is also a glimpse of the new age of storytelling....which can obviously be in the hands of all owners of i-phones!


Sitting around the campfire (real or metaphorical) and telling stories has been the iconic image for the passing on of our history and beliefs.  When you are in the hands of a good storyteller, you are captured, leaning forward for the next revelation; you are asked to identify with some of the characters.

Well constructed stories pass on much more than just a cast of characters and an exciting plot line.  Underneath the plot are the relationships, the emotions, the lessons and ....here is the important part....the values of the one who has put the story together.  No matter what the actual subject of the story, what is really being said is this, 'This is who we are.   This is how we behave.'  Becoming one with story, identifying with the main characters is possible when you identify with the values being expressed.

People of faith have stories as well.  From Abraham to Isaac to Jacob to King David.....we are invited into the lives and adventures of Moms and Dads and siblings and emperors and servants.  Underlying each story is this "Here is the God I know.  This is how I came to faith."  Now, of course we get some interesting interpretations of natural events, but don't let that hold you up.  We also encounter all the emotions we experience:  loss, jealousy, envy, lust, grief, love, frustration, irritation, rebellion.  I could go on, but you get the idea.  They may be ancient people but their lives soared and crashed pretty much the same as ours.  And through it all, they continued to witness to the faith they held.  That is where their stories become treasures for us.

How do you go on when you have behaved very badly?  Look up the story of King David and Bathsheba and listen to his cry of confession.  How do you give thanks for a gift you have longed for all your life?  Read the story of Hannah and her son Samuel to see the depth of thanksgiving.  Know someone who has been sexually assaulted?  The rape of Tamar is the story to check out.  Think God doesn't hear your prayers because you are not worthy?  Then you need to look up the story of Jesus and the Syro-Phoenician woman.

It's all there.  Love. Loss. Betrayal. Joy. New Life.  It's there to help you reach the point where you can say, "This is my story.  This is my God."

Shalom my friends.

'Wanting the manger to stay empty"

"This year, as I journey toward the pulpit on Christmas Eve, I do so as a pregnant woman. I am due in May, and holding my breath that this baby will make it and be healthy. I approach worship knowing that in my longest night, which ended up lasting for about two months a year ago, I was not alone. The people in my congregation, too, need to know they are not alone. I approach Christmas with new sensitivity to the pain of the people in the pews who may be faking their way through the joy of the season. But isn’t that really the way it is for all of us who observe the Christian year? Even as our Advent journey comes to a close at Christmas, we know that right around the corner is Lent. Our journey is beyond the stable and toward the cross. Joy tinged with pain, but also always surrounded above and beneath, behind and before, completely hemmed in by hope."

This beautifully written paragraph is the final one in a blog entry written by Emily Peck-McClain, an ordained Methodist minister who had, just the year before, miscarried 6 days short of Christmas (her second miscarriage).  Shared through the website www.youngclergywomen.org, her piece was entitled "Wanting the manger to stay empty."  

It is her gift to all who have walked this or a similar path.  A Blessed Christmas to all.

In the face of great sorrow

In the face of great sorrow, people of faith
          grieve
          cry out
          are uncertain of the future, its path and its obstacles
          doubt their own strength and ability to carry on.

They also
           lean into Jesus' promise to be present
           cling to the hope of God's future
           reach out to others who also sorrow
           rely on the fellowship of believers to carry them for a little while
           trust in God's ultimate love.

People of faith commend our loved ones into the hands of God thus:

 Into your hands merciful Savior we commend our brother Mark....

a sheep of your own fold,

a lamb of your own flock,

 a sinner of your own redeeming......

Remember in your prayers today those who face great sorrow.  If you can't think of anyone in particular than consider the victims of sexual assault, the parents of suffering children, the spouses of those killed in military service, those who love someone with debilitating mental illness. 

If today you are not facing great sorrow, then your task is to pray for them and hold them up. As people of faith we are not only claimed by our Lord and called into his living body, we are called to act as the body for the sake of others.  So, just like a sore toe will cause you to carry more weight on the other foot, we as members of the body bear the weight of others who, in this moment, are weaker.  Some of us make casseroles; some of us offer rides or do some babysitting; some of us run errands.  All of us are called to pray.

We pray not that our desires will win out but rather that our desires might intersect with God's will, and in the act of praying we learn to walk with God, trusting that whatever the outcome, God's great love is at work.

This is how you will learn to face great sorrow yourself. 

Thanks to all for your constant prayers for Mark.  He now rests with God.  Remember his family.

Torn, broken, alone

Beyond the imagining, beyond the horror and tears and pain is the desert of grief: that wrenching apart, the severing of community, the deformed lives that are left in the wake of the unthinkable.

Like teutonic plates capable of raising mountains or opening deep chasms, this moment of death has shifted the world.  It is not the same.  It never will be.

"Beneath the cross of Jesus..."

Why?

When faced with great loss, Why? is often the first question.
It is neither a request for information nor is it a request for an explanation.  Applying the laws of logic to a situation of loss only serves to minimize and objectivize the wrenching hurt.

Why? is an existential question.  Why is there such pain in this world?  Why has the world conspired to bring such tragedy to this person at this time? 

And, How?  How am I going to go on with my life: washing dishes, and getting gas, and mowing the lawn with such a great sorrow on my heart?  When?  When will I be able to breathe freely again?  When will I laugh again?

Theologians will discuss and explain knowing that their explanations will bring no comfort.  Comfort comes from God - and from all those in this world who reach out in love and offer to hold the one who sorrows until they can see the sun rise again.  That was one of the gifts of Easter morning: the sunrise at the Son's rising.

Lament

   Lament: to express deep grief or regret....so deep it comes from the soul and has the potential to undo us.  The kind of grief God knows and is willing to help us bear.  We cry out, "Lord, how long?" and Jesus replies, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."  Peace to those who lament this day.