We wait and watch........

This day is called Holy Saturday, a day of watching and waiting.  Which, of course, we are not doing.  We do not watch and wait and the women who loved Jesus did not watch and wait either, at least not in the same way.

They were not biding their time until the Sabbath was over in order to proceed with the Great. Divine. Plan because...they had no idea what the Great. Divine. Plan. was.  They had no expectation of an empty tomb.  Perhaps they spent this day (im)patiently waiting for observance of the Sabbath to pass. [Not that Jesus was all that strict a Sabbath rule follower and that scene in the temple seemed to imply that there was a whole new set of rules to be applied. Yet, women have learned since the dawn of time that standing in front of a male dominated power structure and breaking the rules has some serious, often life threatening consequences.]  More importantly I think, the women were no different from the others - when they watched Jesus die on that cross they were certain the story was over.  They waited, ready to do the work of anointing Jesus' dead body on the morrow. Nothing more, nothing less. Deep grief.

In fact,they may have been watching for approaching danger, either  Roman or Jew, come to arrest them because of their association with this Jesus.  In the gospel of John the disciples (and I am sure it wasn't just men) had locked themselves in an upper room because of their fear.  They may have been keeping an eye on each other - wondering if there was another Judas among them.

I expect they were sitting shivah.  They were observing that time of disbelief and yet horrid 'it's all too real' belief that descends upon every family when a loved one dies, especially when it is unexpected, violent, tragic.  They would stare at one another without seeing a thing.  They would have no energy, unable to keep focused on much of anything, not really hungry, dazed, surprised that the world seemed to continue on its axis when their world was crushed.  Every so often someone would begin a story with "Remember that time when....." and for a moment or two he would be present again and the terrible burden of the truth would be lifted.  I expect they found themselves in that space between now and the rest of their lives.

We, on the other hand, are not observing some religious rule in our waiting for this holy day to pass.  Neither are we watching for the danger of approaching authorities, nor the betrayal of a Judas.  We are not making plans for purchasing spices to anoint a dead body.  We do not hang in suspense whether the tomb will truly be empty on the morrow.  The Easter proclamation "He is not here.  He has been raised." was the dawn of a new creation.  The Jesus who was raised then, is raised now.  The tomb is forever and eternally empty.

However, this might be true.  On that day of waiting and watching, the disciples were weighed down with love and grief.  On this day of waiting and watching, we are weighed down with disbelief - or perhaps even worse, disinterest.  The disciples were so close they could barely breathe; we are so far distant we barely pay attention.  Our danger is not in the authorities but in our disconnect from the Divine Story, and the wondrous grace being poured out.  We wonder what difference this makes, even if it is true.


I too have been paralyzed by the disbelief of sudden grief and loss. It is difficult, painful, lasting.  In the end, it is preferrable to the empty void of meaninglessness  carved out by a life of unbelief.

We wait with longing for the sunrise on the morrow and the proclamation, once again, He is Risen!  He is risen indeed! because, in the end, our very lives are found in those words and in that Savior.

Given for you......

If you are paying attention closely, there will be a moment on Good Friday when time stops.

In that moment, you will know the darkness.  Death will be at your fingertips.There will be no more time to heal wounded places or reconcile with estranged friends and family. There will be no more time to do good and mend fences.   No matter how many people surround you when that moment is yours,  you will make this final journey alone....

....just you and whomever it is that created us and who calls us back to our origins.

Wait and watch for the moment ......

                       then know that this Jesus
                                will walk into that darkness with you.

       

Forgive me Lord for I have sinned.

There are so many things that need to be forgiven.  It is easy to forget that truth when you rear up in high dungeon all puffed up with self-righteousness and demand your pound of flesh, demanding that the terrible wrong done unto you be atoned for until your ruffled feathers or bruised ego has calmed itself again.

There are so many things that need to be forgiven, and you and I have been responsible for at least half of them.  Sure, we have been wounded by others, and for this we too often insist on full and satisfying restitution.  We prefer to press to the back of our memory all those 'unfortunate incidents' for which we require forgiveness.  We prefer to play victim rather than admit being the villain even though we know that hides the truth.

Because of our behavior, we are as much in need of the forgiveness of others as we are wounded by the sinfulness of neighbors.  When folks start pointing fingers, there are plenty pointed our direction. Or as the apostle Paul wrote so eloquently  'we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God.'  We need forgiveness as much as the next guy. This is an especially good week to remember this.

If Holy Week is anything, it is a time of truth telling.  Pilate chooses the expedient path without regard for justice and discounting the human suffering he was about to impose.  The crowds have little idea who Jesus is or even who Jesus claimed to be, but a good crucifixion would bring a little excitement to the week in Jerusalem.  The leadership of the nation of Israel scapegoated this one person to protect themselves.  The disciples loved Jesus except those who were ambivalent, but all were scared to death.

It is a good week for telling the truth about ourselves - to name the places where we choose the expedient over justice, where we protect our own territory without regard to the displaced and powerless ones, where we are willing to stand by and watch as an innocent one is executed, where we enjoy a little drama without regard to the victims at the center, where our fear has controlled our actions.

I mention this not so you might be filled with guilt, or even worse, shame.  No I simply want you to be ready to receive the incomprehensible gift that is coming your way and to do it without defensiveness.  I want you to be able to say  'I am a sinner' so that when you hear Jesus say, "Father, forgive them' you are able to take into your life the power of forgiveness - and experience in its fullest the gift of new life, new beginnings and transformation.

Take a little time for confession.  No, take a lot of time for confession.  Spend time considering all that this world could be, and all the ways in which you are complicit in its failures.  Talk with God, the Divine Creator, the Divine Lover, the Source of Life.  Re-boot your connection.

Prepare yourself.  Grace is about to happen.

It's complicated: part 2

It's complicated: part 2.  Sacrifice is essential.

Having read It's Complicated: part 1 you are now under the impression that you can do whatever you want to do.  That's right.  You can.

You are 100 percent human with all its glory and creativity and pride and possessiveness and capabilities and small mindedness and.........well, all that and a bag of potato chips as well.  You can do whatever you can get away with.  Folks have been following that rule since the dawn of time.

You can help a stranger or cheat on your spouse.  You can love your children or chain then to their beds.  You can feed the hungry or starve your enemies.  You can bind up the wounded or wound the powerless.  It is all within your power.  You are human, good and evil, loving and petulant, self-serving and selfless. There are days when you are a gift to yourself and others.  There are days when you are most definitely not.There are days when you are better than your best self.  There are days when you are horrified at your own reality.

Just possibly you would like to be your best self more often than not.  Just possibly you would like to live in the flow of life around you, filled with a power of generosity and good will and wisdom and grace.  Just possibly, you know that without some help, you cannot be the force for good that you desire to be. Just possibly, you call that 'force for good' God.

Then sacrifice will be necessary.  Not because God needs it but because you need it.  You need to give away some valued possessions in order to free the channels within in your life for God's creative power to work in and through you.  You will have to sacrifice retribution.  You will have to sacrifice grudges.  You will have to sacrifice believing that you are the center of the universe.

What will it cost to align yourself with the power of love that created you in the beginning and which is so strong it can love you through your worst days?  Nothing (if you are talking about money). Everything (if you are talking about your life).

You will have to give up the notion that you know what is best for you......and the world around you.  You will have to believe that it is truly possible for you, frail, flawed human being that you are, to be the power of life for others.  You will have to believe that you are lovable, deep down below the truth of your failings, you are worth loving.   You have something to give. In the end, you will believe that about everyone else as well.

God has known this all along and wants to walk with you on this wondrous journey towards authentic life.  It was exactly what God created you for in the beginning - that you may have life and have it abundantly.  Even more importantly, you can be a channel of that kind of love to others.  That is the promised land and you can taste it today; let God in Jesus show you the way. Let God in Jesus help you get it done.

It begins in love - not for the God whom we cannot see, but for those we can see - those we can hurt or help, those we can include or exclude, those we can feed, house, clothe or ignore.  Each act of love plants another seed of hope, another moment of grace, until those moments are the most prized possessions we have...

........and nothing else matters.

Love God and you will give it all that you have.

Blessed Holy Week.

No more sacrifice ?!?

It's complicated...especially this week when the pouring out of an innocent life is central to the story.

Lutheran theology tells us that sacrifice is not needed.
Lutheran theology tells us that sacrifice is essential.

Lutheran theology is not for the faint of heart.  It specializes in both/and rather than either/or.  
We live in that wondrously frustrating land of gray, where it is and it isn't.  


Folks constantly claim that they want clear, definitive answers, but in truth they don't.  Even the most black and white thinkers, the die hard 'concrete operational' thinkers, the 'tell it to me straight' folks realize that this world is complicated with as many exceptions as rules.  

And if this world is constantly shifting, revealing and hiding, surprising and disappointing, then what can you say about God?

The traditional word is 'mystery'.  God is mystery; beyond our knowing; whose ways are not our ways; totaliter aliter (Karl Barth's 'totally other').  Humans may have been created a 'little lower than the angels' but God is so beyond the angels that we catch only glimpses, and then only the glimpses that God offers to us.  (that is Barth too)

But getting back to sacrifice, it's complicated.  It's nuanced.  

In the beginning (not long ago, but in the beginning of our relationship with our first understanding of 'God'), we thought we should offer God a gift in order to keep God happy, to increase our chance of God being on our side.  It works with our sweetheart, the waitress in our favorite diner, even our neighbors.  Show up at the door with a homemade pie and you begin to ascend in their estimation.  We offer gifts of good behavior and sometimes money and not only think that God will like us more, but more importantly, God will punish us less.  How many times have you heard people say, "Why is God so angry at me? What have I ever done?"  [BTW that is always a rhetorical question because, of course, there are many possible answers to that question.]

So here is the good news.  God doesn't need our gifts.  God doesn't eat apple pie.  Our sacrifice - of time, talent, money, good behavior - just doesn't figure into it....because God already loves us more than we can imagine!  That's right.  We don't have to make God like us; we don't have to appease God's anger.  God is way ahead of us on this one - God loves us and loves us and loves us.  It is a given; that is who God is.

Not that we believe it, because I know who and what I am and I don't like myself some days.  But it is the truth.  God so loved the world that God gave us the Son.......see John 3.16.  God is pre-disposed to loving the creation called into being by God's own Word.  We think of our relationship with God as a transaction.  God knows that it is a love affair from start to finish.

So, sacrifice is not necessary.  In fact, each time we think that our gifts 'make God love us' - we are so far into left field we might as well give up the game.  

When we see Jesus throwing a fit in the temple, shutting down the temple marketplace, we need to remember that our sacrifices will not change God's mind one iota.  God loved us before.  God will love us afterwards.

Not because we are so amazingly worthy but because God is so amazingly gracious.  

Sacrifice is not necessary. So why then is sacrifice essential?  Well, that's for another day.

Why call this week 'holy'?

Why do we call this week 'holy'? Perhaps that is a good starting point as we enter Holy Week.   In what way is it sacred?

 A million upon a million people around the world could tell you harrowing stories of violence and terror and death and unfathomable loss.  We have become familiar with the names in our own country, names like Sandy Hook and Stoneman Douglas, names like Twin Towers and Pulse Night Club.  These are the big stories with lots of press coverage.  There are also the solo stories - anonymous to the vast majority of us - stories of private abuse, gay baiting and Muslim hating.  There are the international stories of Syrian civilians being bombed into oblivion, of the desperately poor starving an inch at a time, of the racial minorities targeted by those in power.

Jesus was not the first nor the last to die a torturous death at the hands of powerful military forces.  Jesus was not the first nor last to reveal the depth of humanity's inhumanity, the power of evil in our lives, and our continued willingness to sacrifice the one, the weak, the young, the other in order to maintain a status quo that benefits us.

Yet he was the one who called himself Son of God.  It is a title that points to his coming suffering, his oneness with every suffering human being everywhere, while claiming a oneness with the Divine Creator that sets him apart from every other created being.

So perhaps we call this week holy because it tells the story of Jesus, God's holy one among us.  This is the story that challenges every preconceived concept we had of a bright and shiny glorious God with the picture of a suffering crucified one named Jesus. Even in its thousandth re-telling, it remains mystery just as God is mystery.

Or perhaps we call this week 'holy' because the picture of a suffering crucified Jesus - suffering with us and because of us - suffering in every inch of his being as an offering of love for each of us - is holy.  It does not look away from the reality of our lives but takes our suffering into the very heart of the story and into the heart of God.

This week we watch as Jesus walks towards the cross in actions so far above and beyond this world's understanding that the only word we have to describe it all is 'holy'. This is a Holy Week for God has come close to the heart of creation and carried creation into the heart of God.

Who do you seek?

 "We want to see Jesus."

At least these Greeks were clear about what they wanted. According to the gospel of John, these Greeks came looking for an audience with Jesus soon after the episode where Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead (John 11).  It would appear that the word got around that Lazarus was in the tomb, 4 days dead, when Jesus summoned him back into this life once again.  In John, it was this unimaginable miracle that was the underlying cause for Jesus' arrest.  [The Jewish leadership said, "Can't you see that it is better for one man to die than for an entire nation to be crushed?" that is, to have Jesus killed and thus save the Jews from the Roman authorities.]

So some Greeks wanted to see Jesus.  Now Greeks were anyone who wasn't Jewish (remember that this story is told from a Jewish perspective).  This tells us that the word about Lazarus was being spoken among the foreigners, the Romans, the authorities, the rulers........as well as among the people of Israel.  Now even the Greeks were interested.  It was a sign.

For Jesus it was a sign of what he had anticipated:  his time was drawing short to be among the people.  Soon he would fulfill that unique call that had been his from birth.  Soon he would be 'lifted up' for everyone - Jews and Greeks, slaves and free, men and women - to see. (see John 3)

So everyone would be able to see Jesus.  But, nothing in the gospel of John is that straight forward.  "To see" Jesus meant much more than just laying eyes on him.  It has to do with seeing and understanding and trusting and following.  Even more, it has to do with how one subsequently lives ones' life: with mercy, forgiveness, grace, generosity.

In order 'to see' Jesus, a person had to be able to see the Messiah; not a miracle worker, not a soup kitchen to feed all the hungry, not a wise teacher of the Law, not a military rebel, not even just a righteous one.  Rather, you needed to see the Jesus who came among humankind in order to be the Savior, the Redeemer, the Healer of the rift between God and creation.  You needed to see a love so powerful it would walk into death into to guide creation into life.

Your sight needed to carry you through Good Friday not knowing that Easter was a coming. 

There are many who believe in God, and who trust in God's benevolence towards creation and ultimate desire for the good of all. There are some who are thankful for the blessings they receive, even giving thanks times of the darkness.

Those who 'see' Jesus know that whatever may come, they are already in the hands of the Great Divine Lover of All....and it is joy to them, even into eternity.

May you 'see Jesus'  the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end.

Wondering in Wonderland

I expect you've seen the picture and heard the story of this two year old who was so taken by the portrait of Michele Obama that she stood awestruck.  Her mom said that Parker has no idea that Barack Obama exists and is married to Michelle and was President of the United States.  No, Michelle is her only interest because she thinks Michelle is a queen.

What I love is the moment of pure wonder that is captured in the picture.  A moment when reality stops and the infinite possibilities of the future are wide open.  Somehow I think this moment will be a defining one for her, one she returns to in her memory for a lifetime, perhaps even a moment that shifts her self-understanding.

Wonder has that kind of power because it focuses not on what is or even what was, but rather on what could be.  The path forward now has multiple twists and turns; the goal is far distant.  Children are particularly good at wonder.  Since they don't have all the answers they rely on having all the questions!  Why don't neighbors walk each others' dogs when they go on vacation?  I wonder how sheep feel after all their wool is taken off.  I wonder what rabbits eat in the winter when our garden is dead.  I wonder...........

The strange things is there is no 'wrong' in wondering.  Sometimes there is silly.  Sometimes fantastical.  Sometimes humanly impossible.  But never wrong.  The idea behind wondering is to allow your mind and imagination to roam freely.  It is a process of discovery.  Set your mind free and see what is out there.  Start anywhere and ask a question you don't know the answer to.

What would it look like if our cars could only drive 5 miles?  How would our lives change?  What would it look like if all the employees decided each others' salaries together?  What if all of our drug stores had a nurse practitioner right on premises to triage medical woes and treat the minor ones? You can't really get good at wondering if you are afraid to be wrong.

In fact, fear can short circuit the process quickly.  Fear of something changing.  Fear of losing some undefined benefit.  Fear of having to learn new and possibly difficult things.  Fear of walking with others into the unknown. Of course, just asking questions is not the same as taking action.  But if you are afraid of the actions that might arise, you won't ask the questions in the first place.

But if you are willing to give it a try, 'Oh the places you'll go" (to quote Dr. Seuss, who took us everywhere with whimsical wondering.)

I wonder what we might discover if we read the Bible with a wondering imagination.  I wonder if Jesus was a woman, how would she have taught?  I wonder if God had a specific number of trees in mind when God started creating?  I wonder what God was thinking when she created the anteater!

Are you game?  Will you wonder with me?





I too saw the portrait and it is captivating but I am so grounded in reality that I have dismissed the possibility that I may someday elicit a similar response from anyone.  However, I was proud of that moment in American history and those who take time to visit the entire Presidential Portrait Gallery will soon be faced with the inescapable reality that Barack Obama was the first person of color to serve us in that office.

Listen in the Silence

Listen well o peoples of the earth

to inner promptings of the Spirit

Let Silence enter your house that

you may hear!

For within your heart Love speaks:

not with words of deceit,

But of spiritual truths to guide you

upon the paths of peace.

Do not hide this from your children

teach of the Inward Voice, and 

help all generations to listen 

in the Silence.

That they may know the Beloved and be free

to follow the precepts of love. *    

Silence is not easy to find; perhaps it is rarely sought.

Even our times of corporate worship are layered with noise; silence is rare and causes unease.  How can we hear the Spirit if we are always doing the talking?  How can we be in touch with God when songs and prayers and liturgy fill the space?

How can we share the peace when we are so busy disturbing it?

Perhaps I have found a new path to follow.  I wonder how it will enrich my journey with the Beloved.

Psalms for Praying: an Invitation to Wholeness. Nan C. Merrill,  Psalm 78, pg 150

Ah, the power of church tradition

Tradition shapes us.  They shape not only our practice but our belief systems as well.    Silent Night to close Christmas Eve services (with candles!).  Only men as ushers.  Children dismissed before the sermon.  Only real bread (or only those wafers) for communion.  Roses for moms on Mother's Day.  God Bless America on the 4th of July.  American flags in the chancel.  Everyone must kneel for communion.


None of these point to God's love for us, made flesh in Jesus, offering life beyond life and claiming us as beloved children.  But they sure do shape us.  Just ask any pastor; they are often our most valued religious relics.

We convince ourselves that The. Church.Will. Fall. if any of these things is altered.  The Kingdom of God will come to an end!  Our faith will be destroyed.  Our life will cease to have meaning!

Really?  Are not these traditions no more than what we have come to expect when gathered in worship?  Yet, these kind of traditions shape our understanding of God and how God acts in this world.  Did we begin our faith lives believing God was a man.......or did centuries of exclusive male language and leadership confuse the here and now with the eternal?  Did we begin with a notion that America has been especially blessed by the Divine........or did the repeated presence of the American flag and singing of national songs confuse our worship of the One True God with loyalty to a very nice but temporal government? Is communion only valid when we kneel?

I know, you don't want to talk about these things.  They just cause controversy.

But I ask:  Do these questions raise as much controversy as the question of how we as a faith community are going to increase our support of the homeless in our town?  As much controversy as how we as a faith community are going to participate in tutoring students in our poorest neighborhoods?  As much controversy as whether we, as a faith community, need to take action to change the abuse that LBGTQ students are experiencing in our own schools?  That much controversy?

Have we confused kneeling for communion with the powerful presence of the risen Lord re-shaping us and calling us forward to be his face to a hurting world?

Have we confused our personal preferences (or the way we were raised) with God's call through the Holy Spirit to live as children of a redeeming, forgiving God?

Have we confused the lovely building in which we have worshipped for decades, going back generations for the Church of Jesus Christ called into being through the Holy Spirit for the sake of the entire world?

Are we listening only to our own voices.....those who agree with us, whose lives are 'like ours' and stopped listening to the marginalized, the poor, the hungry.....the voices of the Spirit?

Have we forgotten who the Savior is?  How much we need him?  How much he loves us? How he lived his life?

Have we forgotten the truth at the center of our faith......."God so loved the world that he gave his own son,..."?

Have we forgotten that God's goal is shalom, not dominance?

Ah, the power of church traditions.  What practices are shaping our community? Those that point us to life in the eternal ....or those that point us to life in the comfortable and familiar?

What voices are we hearing?  Those that challenge us to go deeper and cut away that which keeps us from God....or those that reflect our political/social/economic/religious views?

Who is setting the agenda for our life?  for our days?  for our finances?

I can hear some saying, "Really, now.  Don't get all carried away."  But you see, that is exactly what I want to happen........I want to be carried away by the one who said, "Father forgive them" because it means 'Father, forgive this one here as well.'

Which traditions are shaping you?

As in a dry and barren land........

As a hart longs for flowing streams

so longs my soul for You

O Beloved

My soul thirsts for the Beloved

for the Living Water      Psalm 42*

The landscape of the Southwest US is disorienting for someone who lives in the Northeast.  Gone is the green of chlorophyll, the cooling shade of trees in full bloom.  Gone is the sound of rushing water or the placid calm of an Adirondack Lake.  The variety of cacti is evident even if I have no idea of their names .....although to be honest, I am  not all that good at recognizing the different varieties of deciduous trees at home either.  Many of the roads are not paved, I think because they don't need to be.  (There is so little rainfall that they won't wash out in the Spring.)

The Spring Winds which are blustering today would be called a blizzard if there were snow......but of course there isn't.  It is a dust storm that you need to watch for.  It is a good idea to have your own water wherever you go; dehydration comes quickly.  A local said, "New Mexico is not a good state to get lost in."

Here in this high desert I am able to enter this favorite and ancient psalm with the sensation of physical need, a dryness of nose and eyes and mouth along with the dryness of soul that the psalmist implies.  In this country, the vision of Living Water is no longer simply a calming, peaceful spot in a harried day, but it is life itself; one is quickly reminded not to wander too far from the source of water.

God has an infinite number of ways to call us back into the presence of the Living Water.  Some days it is just an invitation to rest in the shade; some days it is the promise of life itself.

The Living Water never fails.


*Psalms for Praying: an invitation to wholeness.  Nan C. Merrill.  p 78

Who are we?

With lines marking the repairs, the pot was missing some pieces.  It was a pale sand color with designs of black faded to gray.  It was unremarkable until you read the museum's label which told me it dated to 100 AD.  Then it became a valuable remnant of an ancient people, recovered from an ancient land marked by juniper forests and skies so blue it is almost unbelievable.


For hours I wandered among displays of deerskin clothing and handmade arrows and bows.  I learned the history of people who irrigated up to 10,000 acres of desert and then dispersed so quickly and completely that they were erroneously named the disappeared people.

They tell of their birth out of the earth, nurtured by the water, made one with the earth of their origin and endlessly connected with the ancestors who made them uniquely themselves. In spite of all the efforts (mistaken, often cruel) of the dominant culture to erase their identity, they are themselves.  They remain.  They will one day be the ancestors.

You cannot walk the land without knowing you are walking in someone else's history, people who live in this world deeply rooted to the earth that birthed them.  They have worked hard to pass on their language and traditions, the skills and knowledge that have come to them through the centuries...not as relics in a museum or curiosities to amuse and amaze.  They do this work so they will never forget who they are, and so they can continue to live authentically as the people that earth and rain made them....even if it is in a 20 story high rise.

Are we those people?  Those of us who are followers of Jesus.  Has the dominant culture decided we are inconsequential relics of a past better forgotten?  In the pressure of history moving forward, are we losing our identity because we have lost the core of truth of what it means to be the baptized ones?

Have we been holding on to the wrong things, things which will become both burden and prison?    Are we clinging to the peripherals and abandoning the Jesus who is the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end?

What does it look like to live authentically as a follower of Jesus, one who looks to the Divine Creator as the source of all life, now and to come? Who is this Divine Creator?  How does Jesus live out the powerful life giving force of forgiveness and grace?

How do we live that way too?

Who are we?