Difficult conversation, part II

Lord, slow us down so we might look and see the person across from us as a brother or sister.  Teach us a new patience born out of a willingness to give the other one space to think and express themselves.  Amen

That is our prayer today as we consider this next group in the Ten Commandments for Having Difficult Conversations.  Sometimes those difficult conversations are about BIG topics, but often they are about smaller yet annoying things.  Think about your congregation's last discussion about "Changing Worship Time" or maybe "Using the New Hymnal" and you will see we need these skills for all kinds of conversations.  We start with #5.

5. Emphasize agreements. It is easy to focus on the points in which we disagree, when we  may agree about most things and about the most important things.

6. When others criticize, try to bring out favorable points. (rather than become defensive? yes?)

7. When there is misunderstanding, go directly to the parties involved when possible.
This can be hard to do if communication with others has been cut off, and there is no
guarantee that they will respond graciously when we approach them. But it is the faithful
course, and it is what Jesus tells us to do (Matthew 18:15-20). And you may find out that something has become distorted.

8. Try to remember that God’s truth is too big for any one mind. “My thoughts are not
your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord” (Isaiah 55:8). This applies not
only to the thoughts and ways of those who differ from us, but to our own thoughts and
ways as well.

I want to be right all the time; it avoids uncomfortable feelings.  But I am not, and how I manage conversations when there is a difference between us will either enrich my life and relationships or slowly condense it all to a narrow strip of existence.

I will try to remember these wise thoughts when I am in the heat of frustration or disagreement.
Lord, hear my prayer.