I grew up in a church family; we worshipped every Sunday and worked on the wider work of the church. We said grace before meals and prayers at bedtime. I learned the Bible stories, most of the catechism (no, not by memory). Over the years I reflected on many of the paradoxes of the faith and the life of faith. I always had a serious question to ask and rarely accepted shallow answers to those questions.
There are good reasons for that. My next younger sister was afflicted with polio at 3 months; it made the 16 years she was granted challenging and often painful. There was an iron lung, orthopedic braces, operations, hospital stays and a funeral before she reached her 17th birthday. In our house, suffering was never an abstract. Strangers who rejected my sister because of her disabilities before they knew her, strrangers who refused to serve us meals; strangers who made rude comments aloud; strangers who called the health department because she was a health risk.....we knew all of these. She was the first handicapped child allowed to attend 'regular' school in our school district. She was neither an object of charity or pity, but a funny, courageous, bright and normal girl in a deformed body.
Her health determined our family's agenda: if and where we might vacation, how we as a family traveled from place to place, how much money was available for spending. We all learned how to cook and do laundry and take care of ourselves because my parents were often full out caring for her.
Her life shaped my life, and it shaped my faith. But not in one fell swoop, but slowly, over time, after questions answered and truths challenged. Witnessing the thoughtlessness and sometimes, bigotry, of strangers, I became sensitive to injustice towards others. Watching her struggle and suffer with little or no hope of living a long life, I find glib answers to life's deepest losses intolerable.
Throughout it all, God was at the center of our family life and our family routine. I found God and I found myself through the rhythm of worship. Over the years, the presence of God and the certainty of Jesus' love for me and those around me simply grew. I searched for deeper truths; I refused to accept 'pie in the sky' explanations. The promise of heaven could never take away the reality of life in this world.
I was immersed in an ethos of faith and God slowly crept up on me, becoming as natural as breathing and ordinary as doing laundry and as miraculous as a sunrise.
How did it happen for you?
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