the words of Advent......still

to strive - to make great efforts to achieve or obtain something, to do one's best, exert oneself.  That would be striving in its positive sense.  It is forward leaning, muscle building, goal oriented living.  It is that pressing onward that can give us some purpose and at the same time, a measuring stick for achievement.  In spite of the goal at the end, I think real striving is internally motivated.

to strive - to struggle or fight vigorously, i.e. "to strive against bias" where our effort and labor are put to the task of bringing something to a halt.  This definition lacks the upward mobility of the first perspective.  It reminds me of a person who is drowning: striving to stay alive: the swimmer will struggle and fight vigorously  even with the one who is trying to rescue them.  Strive has a different feel to it when used this way.

I bring up this little discussion around striving because just recently God allowed me this insight: it is time to stop striving.  Not necessarily for everyone (but perhaps there is a message in here for you as well) but definitely for me.  Now what was I supposed to do with that 'piece of advice'?

I am a grade A striver - especially when it comes to academics.  I will press forward, reaching out for more, working hard to both understand and achieve.  I will press myself and you as well onward and upward towards my current goal.  I have always taken pride in the amount of effort I put into things....whatever they might be.  If I decide that something is worthy, I will strive towards perfection.

All my striving easily leads me to a place where I can see only my way forward, and soon I am struggling against the future that God is opening for me.  I want to go right; God is leading me left and all my striving is pulling me under.

I want to move towards perfection, and here's the rub:  it's my perfection that I wish to achieve.  The harder I work to achieve for myself, the less I am doing God's work.  The more I am focused on my perfection, the less I am watching for God to be moving in the world.

The more I strive, the behind-er I get.  The more I struggle, the less I can hear, see, listen, watch for, be attentive to God.

So God sent me this gift this Advent.  God gave me permission to stop striving.  It is time to simply 'be' in the presence of God.  "Be still and know that I am God" the psalmist tells me.

Be still............be still...........I'm working on it.