Come on, when you don't know the answer, be honest. Say, "I don't know."
When your life has taken a nose dive, this is the last thing you want to hear. Even though you probably believe this is true, what good does it do when you say it? It only proves what the listener suspected in the first place, you haven't got a clue. So admit it.
The problem is not that we have described God inaccurately. God does work in mysterious ways.
Take the story of Lazarus, a friend of Jesus and brother to Mary and Martha. Lazarus is very sick. Jesus is informed and dawdles so much that Lazarus is dead 4 days when Jesus arrives. Lazarus is already in the tomb (a cave not a grave). Jesus, with the grieving Mary and Martha trailing along, goes to the tomb and Jesus weeps. (John11.35) Then in just 11 verses, Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead.How mysterious is that? Jesus weeps even knowing that in a few moments he will give Lazarus back his life. [Why Jesus weeps has been the source of much rich conversation over the ages.]
It doesn't do any good to tell folks God has a plan. Right now, this moment, they are grieving, afraid, lost, angry, betrayed.....and a thousand other things. People are drawn to the Jesus who touches the lepers and heals the demon possessed and sits down with the outcast woman at the well. Be Jesus to them. Sit, listen.
We are not required to answer for God. Say you don't know why .....only that Jesus was there with lots of folks who were on the receiving end of some rotten stuff. Then do what you can do: be with them, pray with them and for them, regularly.
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