Obey is a word that is much out of fashion these days. We live in a world that foolishly (at least from my perspective) has attempted to erase the borders between those who hold positions of authority and power and those who are expected to respond - dare I say, obey - the directives of such persons. Whether we are talking boss/employee or parent/child or teacher/student, somehow in the name of equality we as a society have pretended that true differences do not exist. We pretend that all things are collaborative. Have you ever tried to collaborate with a testy two year old or a cranky teen?
Which gets me back to 'obey' from the Latin obe dire or 'to listen deeply'. As a person of faith, this insight points me to my relationship with God where if I 'listen deeply' I will obey. But it also works with a parent and child. When the child listens deeply to the parent, they obey - not just by definition, but as the response to the parent. We 'obey' not because the other is bigger or more powerful, but because, at the heart of how this world works, we enter into a deep relationship based on listening and then allowing that listening to turn to action. When leadership works at its best, this deep listening/relationship is fostered at every level and 'obeying' loses its negative spin.
Perhaps we have removed 'obey' from our lexicon because we are fairly poor at listening as well.
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